Last Thursday I went to the doctor for another checkup...and after having a bit of a rough first semester, it was so reassuring to hear the baby's heartbeat, loud and strong! Early on in the pregnancy, I had experienced some of the symptoms of a miscarriage (minus the cramping) for a little less than a day. Not sure what was going on, I went in for an ultrasound ...and to the doctor's and my surprise, we saw two pregnancy "bubbles" - twins! But it was apparent that one baby had stopped developing and was already "vanishing." The other did not appear to have a heartbeat, and for a couple of weeks, we were thinking the worst while praying for the best. I was so nervous when I went in for ultrasound #2 - I was nine weeks by that point, and there would be no mistaking a heartbeat this time, if one was to be found. But the baby was there - looking big and fat compared with what we were squinting at to see the first time! Most importantly, we could clearly see that little heart beating away. What a relief - and what a blessing; God truly has been kind to us and has blessed us with another child to love. It is a strange feeling, though, to be mixed with the bittersweet sadness of knowing that another has been lost. This much I am sure of - we will have our own little "angel" in heaven to meet someday and I find much joy in that!
I am 14 weeks along now, and the doctor said that the pregnancy looks good and strong - there should be no worries from here on out! I've had a few different due dates along the way, but we've officially settled in on April 15. I have yet to actually make it to a due date with my babies, so I am thinking it's better to just say "sometime in April." We'll see!
This is a prayer recently posted by Jessica over at Shower of Roses that has been very comforting to me; it is so beautiful, I wanted to include it here, too.
Prayer of a Mother With Child
Lord God, Creator of all things, I give this baby to Thee, O Jesus, that she may be more Thine than mine. Look upon her, even now, as Thy beloved child. Prepare this little soul and enrich her, that she may be a worthy tabernacle for the Holy Ghost. Sanctify me that I may sanctify this baby and that all of us – I, the baby, her father – may sanctify each other. Increase Thy life in me, in order that my little baby may benefit from the overflowing grace in the soul of her mother. Please accept and sanctify my discomforts, now and in the days to come, which I, as a mother, wish to offer Thee. Amen.